Warning! I am going to talk about sex. Nothing too scandalous but just a fair warning.
Hubby and I have been together for 5 years, married almost 3, and have 2 boys to show for it. We jumped right into having a family, and renovating our house. I feel that we sometimes had an extremely short newlywed phase because of that. There are many times when I am just not in “the mood.” Where I just want to not be constantly touched and sleep. In comes the kissing challenge.
I first heard this advice as a senior in high school from a little old gentleman at my church. I was partnered with him to great people as they came through the doors and when his wife walked in he patted her on the behind. You can image my shock as a young 17 year old that this 80 year old man was patting his wife’s behind and in public no less. He gave me such a sly and naughty grin that I just had to laugh. Then he told me the key to a long and happy marriage is giving your spouse a good long hard kiss every day.
I later read about a women who was trying to find a way to liven up her marriage. According to her it was by no means failing or bad but just getting a little boring. She decided her kissing challenge was to kiss her husband for 30 sec. every day. She explained that it changed their sexual relationship and renewed their marriage. It forced both of them to take even just 30 sec. to focus on their relationship.
I feel that I am in an entirely different situation but that this wisdom still holds true. I am often exhausted after caring for two boys, a house, writing, working part time, and getting in the exercise I need. Without fail my boys’ favorite jungle gym is mom and I want 5 min where I am not touched.
I have taken the kissing challenge to heart differently. If Hubby is in the mood but I am not then I dedicate 30 sec to 1 min really truly and deeply kissing him. I focus only on the kiss. Like I did when we were first dating and there was nothing else happening in the world when we kissed. I focus on how it feels to be wrapped in his arms. The touch of his lips against mine. How his hands are soft and sweet against my skin. Then if after 1 min I absolutely cannot even image having sex then I gently let him down.
I will be honest. There are few times after allowing myself to feel treasured that I am unable to even see myself getting in the mood. While it does not instantly put me in the mood, it allows me to see the potential for a wonderful night with my husband.
I issue this challenge to you women who feel overworked, overtired, and just want a few minutes to yourself. Kiss your husband for 30 seconds every day. Really kiss him. Not a peck on the check, not a quick fly by kiss. Kiss him with all the passion you can must and see how it changes your relationship for the better. Give just 30 seconds to your relationship everyday and watch it blossom and grow.
Find a way that the kissing challenge can meet the needs of your marriage and is unique for you. Leave a comment on how you would like to use the Kissing Challenge in your own relationship.